dear u,

strange....why do i keep thinking bout you...keep wondering bout whats going on with u and stuff,clearly you've been avoiding answering any msg I given to...i mean there no answer from you..for a freaking long time..i feel like "did i do anything wrong?" did i do any shit that makes u upset?...for the rest of the torment and agony month i have been full of guilt..of not knowing anything..i almost wanna quit myself from anything...even from my studies...am almost gonna be crash and burn...i think am getting way overhead myself...u might didnt know this but am taking leave of absence this trimester...just to clear out stuff from my mind...maybe this is the karma...bout how stupid i am...not noticing u at first time...and the curse that i had to bear with it..for the rest of god knows when...maybe the rest my life...who knows...-sigh-...its bad that i start writing back here...i thought i wont come here ever again...i guess shit will happen no matter what...rite? now..am seeing u are getting happier by the day..while am gone...i guess maybe that's the only way...as the punishment that i should get...i shouldn't interfere at first place..rather i shouldn't get online back...but fuck...am missing u...and i think thats bad...because i don't think u felt the way i felt too..but hey..fuck me..dim witted remember?...i guess am always gonna fall for u and adore u what ever the circumstances is...there was one time..am thinking bout cutting...but i guess..i still can control myself ....i just subtitute with another thing which cant be seen by naked eyes so nobody cant know what happen...when i mean nobody i really mean nobody....after this it might be the last of u seeing me ever again...maybe...but idk..if i can ever control the urge to do that...but if u say it infront of me that u really wish that to happen...i guess i might had to do it with everything i had....every single strength i have...but what ever it is..ur face n the memories we had will stay forever

                                                                                                         sincerely ,

the guy

For the things that i am n for the thing that i wish,  i hope am always with u till the end of time, for memories that we had together, there were no boundries, knowing u was a good thing that ever happen in my life, i dare to say to myself that i might had feeling for u, i might had heart for u, but am still in confuse state n i still need more sign to know, am waiting here listening to u, talking to u for thus i wish this shall be thing that worth it

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6

Washing away the blood in the past while trying to forge new future

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

What if i just turn my back n go away

posted from Bloggeroid

why do i feel like a devil
why do i keep interfere
why don't i just accept the fcking facts....
she aint for me...she were never for me...from the start...
why does the heart turn black become so devilishly evil
i should be happy for them...help them...
why does this type of fact i cant accept
i should have not getting really close to her
i know this type of thing will happen but still
the illusion of heart make me blind...
i should have just died
take a pill n dead
or take a knife put poison at the blade...
n make some accident..
so no one will be blame or thinks that am doing suicide
(hmm)its funny...i dont like people talk bout death
but here i am writing bout how i should die
avast let there be a lightning thunder struck me from where am standing..
while all my sin are still inside me...

the letter that wont be sent

dear u,

i know we've known each other for few years now, i know that we have up n downs, I’ve always been by ur side from the first day we know each other, as time goes by, i stood by watching u smile, hearing u laugh, seeing u in sorrow hear u cry ur hearts out, those were the good ol' days that we had n i treasure it every minute we spent together, i know that we never n couldn’t ever be together, we just only can be what we can be right now, u have a heart of gold, the person who had a strong will and tend to be happy even though u in sorrow, i watch u wear that fake smile every time u had problems know u shed ur tears while none of us watching, u were afraid of me to found out that u cry, u close ur phone didn't accept any calls, you keep on thinking that u weighing me with ur problems, but its not, all i want in my life just to see u smile and be happy, u are my priority, my mission, my goal, my everything.In hiding i still keep that feeling, waiting and hoping that u will felt the same, such that if u found this letter, that means i am already long gone, died or lost everything, i just want to let u know that, u were always in my mind,thinking of the life that u gonna go thru or the life that u already have,matter, am sure that u gonna go thru all just fine with or without me, don't try to find me if am gone, because its gonna make u really sad be still and enjoy the life u had rite now, but remember whatever happen to me u still in my mind even if i die, i take that memories to the death

Sincerely,

The one that always and gonna still love u in hiding

how do i breath?
without u here by my side,
how will i see?
when ur love brought me to the light.
where do i go?
when ur heart where i lay my head